Hi all, I have 2 very young children (both under 2) and I'm considering divorce but my hb does not agree. Firstly Coz he feels humiliated by divorce (it's a taboo from where he came from in Malaysia). Secondly it also hurts his ego.
He's a super MCP, flares up for no apparent reason. He does not respect me and my mum who is helping me loads with childcare duties. In fact, he does not have basic courtesy at all.
He likes to victimise himself and insists that he is being ostracised because he is not Singaporean. For eg, he e feels he does not get proper job recognition because of his nationality. These are one of those many things that drain the energy out of me managing this marriage.
Would like to seed advice here... If I were to file for divorce based on grounds of separation, how do I start the whole process? How should I prove the separation? And how to split household bills?
We are actually undergoing marriage counselling but doesn't seem to work. He is still forever passive aggressive and ignoring my requests to have a talk and tries to pretend nothing has happened.
It's really tiring and I do not want my kids to grow up in such a toxic environment...
Hi,
Don't mind me saying but my soon to be ex-wife made the same comments about me too.
Our marriage counsellor was not of much help because she did not address the issues properly.
Your husband may have issues that he cannot handle. His outbursts are his way of communication. It may be in appropriate but he probably does not realise it.
For me, I have come to a very deep self-realisation of all these situations after my wife left me. She also said our family was toxic.
If there is some way to address your husband's deep-seated issues, I encourage you to do it instead of planning to walk out on him. Try a different counsellor, seek mental therapy, create a positive situation so he will open up.
For me, it took me almost the length of my marriage to open up, when I started to talk, she told me it was too late for her and left.
I do not wish for other families to be like mine.
Do it for yourself, do it for the kids, most importantly, do this for yourself.